Who Needs the Kwik-e-Mart?

It's 4 AM and I'm sitting down here blogging. I think it's safe to say that I'm having a much more difficult time recovering from jet-lag than either my pregnant wife or my kids. Whereas they have all blossomed in their new environment full of Carl's Jr, Target, afternoon pool parties, sleepovers (and no homeschool); I don't have quite as much to occupy my day. I've been usually waking up around 5 AM, and without a full-time job or routine to distract me, the afternoon nap is much too tempting. Then I'm awake until atfer midnight, and the whole cycle repeats itself.



One of my only distractions has been the marketing assault accompanying the summer release of the first Simpsons movie. Not since 1990 has Springfield's favorite family been so obnoxiously omnipresent. There are tie-ins everywhere. Clothing, snackfoods, websites, airlines, you name it. A few people have begun to criticize the advertizing overkill, but I embrace it. The Simpsons (on one level) have always represented the boorish aspects of our culture. The advertizing campaign is one big reminder of the crassness of capitalism. Burger King plasters Homer's face on their windows and walls, even though his pear-shaped body is the quintessential stereotype of fast-food induced obesity. The pink donut itself has become a symbol for our society's tendency to overindulgence. In an age of PC rigidity, the Simpsons celebrate material and ideological excess.

The other day I watched CNN's story on how 7-11 has agreed to temporarily remodel a select few of their stores to operate as Kwik-e-Marts. These new stores also include many products featured in the cartoon world, such as Krusty-O's cereal and Buzz cola. The most amusing part of all is that many of these stores are managed by Indian immigrants to the US, just as Springfield's Kwik-e-Mart is run by Apu Nahasapemapetalan. If you don't watch the show, Apu is an unscrupulous, bullet-riddled, small-time capitalist who charges outrageous prices for shoddy (often expired) merchandise. The fact that 7-11 would welcome this image as part of a promotional campaign tells you the power of satirical humour.

The best part of the story involves 7-11's response to the criticism it has received for propagating demeaning stereotypes of Indian-Americans, and Indian convenience store owners in particular. The Apu character is not an ethnic slur, they counter, but is meant all in good fun. Besides, since they began operating as a Kwik-e-Mart and displaying a cardboard cutout of Apu, the sales volume of these stores has increased 15-20%.



In other words, Indian store-owners don't have a problem with exploiting stereotypes of Indian Americans being overly greedy in order to help them make more money.

The move itself couldn't possibly be this entertaining.

Lazy Days of Summer

As we head into the final month of summer, I know many 301NIB readers are running out of diversions to help pass the time until their kids go back to school. After all, how many hours a day can you read Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows?

With this in mind, let me offer up two very exciting activities to help beat the summer blahs:

First...

I've written another article on free speech and submitted it to the foremost website on issues of public discourse - IdeologyForum.com. This piece discusses celebrities and their habit of invoking the First Amendment so they don't have to take responsibility for their thoughtless remarks. It's a response, in particular, to the Dixie Chicks self-righteous documentary "Shut-Up and Sing." You can read it by clicking on the link:

The Dixie Chicks Don't Have to "Play Nice," But You Do: Celebrity Conceptions of Free Speech

Even if you're not interested in the issue, you should still click on the link. That will drive up the hit counter and make the site editor think the public takes me serious as a writer. Unless he reads this post.


Second...

It's time for another edition of NFL Fantasy football. Aside from some trash-talking unpleasantness late in the season, last year's fantasy league was a huge success. I believe a great deal of fun was had by all. Everyone who registered last year is certainly welcome to join again - and we're always looking for new people. This year's league is called:

The Return of Mack Strate

Just click on the above link to get started. The live draft is scheduled for August 10th and we have room for a few more people. But remember, you might want to wait a few rounds for taking Michael Vick.

The Archives Story: Part I

Back in March I had a phone conversation with a friend and former Wisconsin graduate student who had done his dissertation research a few years earlier in India. After discussing careers, family, and politics he asked me "So, do you have any good archive stories?"

I admitted somewhat sheepishly that I had no such story. And as time went by I began to feel more self-conscious about it. A good archives story is part of what makes a graduate student's year in the field such a rite of passage. It's the research equivalent of the war story. I would be a failure if I came back from Thailand with solid research data, a strong sense of the local cultural and political scene, and a case of amoebic dysentery. What if one day I found myself standing in the halls of Appalachian State with a group of colleagues all telling about their run-ins with foreign bureaucracies or amazing discoveries of never-before-seen documents. I would have to sit there in silence, shut out of the historian's 'Band of Brothers' forever.

As it turned out my anxieties were for naught. A couple months after our conversation, I found my great archives story. Only it didn't happen in the archives...

In May, I took a break from my regular research routine to visit the Thai parliamentary library. I was looking for the official transcripts of a parliamentary debate that occured in 1946 after France announced it would block Thailand's admission to the United Nations unless the Thai agreed to return the four territories they acquired from French Indochina in 1941. The Thai parliament met in October of that year to decide what course of action to take.

Not surprisingly, the security at parliament is much tighter than any library I had yet visited. The entrances and inner courtyard are guarded by soldiers in full combat fatigues holding automatic weapons. I had to register at a 'police station' before I could go inside. The officers looked at my application, identification, and National Research Council badge before making the oh-so-arbitrary decision of whether or not to let me inside. Fortunately, on this occassion, the fates smiled on me and this policeman granted me access. After running my bags through the x-ray machines I walked into the building and headed for the library. The security detail clipped a pink plastic badge to my shir lapel, identifying me as a foreign researcher.

The day got even better when I discovered that the library actually had the transcipts I sought. Thai management of historical records is spotty at best. Even when you know what you're looking for you never know if it will be available. The processes of microfilming and digitization are decades behind in Thailand, so often when something happens to an original document, it's just gone - it can't be reproduced. So I was thrilled to hear that debate transcipts from 1941-1946 had managed to avoid destruction and were still available to researchers.

After studying the records and marking the appropriate passages, I walked up to the counter to inquire about how to make photocopies and received the following response:

"Oh, I'm sorry...we don't copy documents here at the parlimanetary library."

"I see. How can I make photocopies of what I need?"

"There's a copy center just a few blocks from here. You'll have to take the volumes over there and pay them to copy it for you."

This last response was so shocking I had trouble believing she had actually said it. They were going to let me take these irreplacable volumes, possibly the only copies in existence, out of the library? They would allow some copy-shop worker with oily, greasy hands to slam page after page down on a copier? It seemed unfathomable. In France you could be shot by firing quad for such an offense. Still, I tried to hold it together...

"How do I find the copy store?"

"There's a queue of motorcycle taxis just outside the gate. Just ask them for a ride to the nearest copy shop."

Not only would I be leaving the premises with these priceless books, I'd be carrying them on the back of a motorcycle dodging through mid-day Bangkok traffic. What were they thinking?

I did my best not to betray my incredulity. As a researcher you don't ever want to question something the bureaucracy has decided in your favor. They had granted me permission to get what I needed. If they ever realized what a terrible policy that was, they could just as easily reconsider and that would be the end of my chance to get the information I needed. As nonchalantly as possible, I gathered up the books in my arms and quickly hurried out the door. But my mind was full of suspicion. Nothing in Thailand was this easy. There had to be a hidden pitfall in the near future.

I just couldn't see it yet.

The Return of Mack Strate

The Strate's have arrived in California, and I have tell you - this place smells terrific.

The thing I've been looking forward to most about returning? A decent shower (the water pressure in Thailand is unsatisfying.) For months I felt like flat hair Jerry in the episode where he and Kramer can't get the shampoo out. But my first shower did not disappoint. The shower nozzle here generates a jet stream that practically slammed me against the tile. I felt like hugging a plumber (when I was dressed again).

Our trip began with a momentary setback when five of our bags checked in overweight. Thanfully, they only made us pay for four. People take baggage weight very seriously in Thailand. It can be extremely difficult to move luggage around when the suitcase weights more than the person paid to carry it.

But the pain of paying out the extra money was offset by a special bonus. As we made our way to the terminal and sorted through our boarding passes, we discovered that the check-in lady (now our patron Saint of travel) had booked us for Economy plus seating on the grueling Tokyo-LA leg of our journey. How can five inches of leg room bring so much happiness?

LAX was a nightmare. Just as we reached the point of exhaustion we had to go through customs, immigration, agricultural inspection, re-check our eight over-weight bags, and then lug our eight carry-ons over to the opposite side of the airport, which I'm pretty sure is actually in Pasadena. Fortunately our Sacramento flight was fifteen minutes late or we might have missed it.

When we finally landed in the capital city, both Kaddi and I had had about three hours sleep in three days. The night before we left there was a terrible thunderstorm that hit our area about 1 AM. It sounded like someone was shooting skeets outside our bedroom window. And of course it's always hard to sleep on a plane, especially with a six year old girl kicking your chair from behind, wanting a movie, and asking 171 consecutive questions about when we're going to arrive.

And so the Thai saga officially ends, for now. I'll miss our friends Selways, Nielsons, Hillmans, and others. But we can't dwell in the past, we have to go forward, look to the future.

And right now my future has a half-pound bar of Symphony chocolate in it.

Good night and Good luck

One last note before I pack away my laptop and try to catch a few hours sleep before waking up at 3 AM to be at the airport in time for a 6:45 AM flight...

We had a tearful good-bye tonight at the Nielson's house. There kids have been such good friends to Meg and Jake. It's comforting to think they will at least have those good memories of Thailand.

It almost feels like the season finale of 301NIB, there are so many storylines left unresolved. Will the USA let a semi-legal immigrant like Mack Strate back in the country? Once Kaddi returns to California, will she ever leave again? What kind of fee will the airport charge us for each bag (Kaddi believes we have at least four bags that are over the weight limit.). Most importantly, will there be a second season of 301NIB...and where it be set?

It feels as unreal to be leaving Thailand as it did to arrive here. In the weeks and months from now when regular life has me in its clutches, all this will no doubt seem like a dream. It doesn't take long before you begin to wonder whether or not it really happened....

The Ship's in the Harbor

And so here we are...

...after months and months of waiting for the departure date, now as its time to say good-bye to friends, the days almost seem to be going by too quickly. As we pack our bags and clean the apartment, we also make time for a few get-togethers with those who've helped us through the ten months.

Kaddi, Mindy, and Som pose for the cameras as part of the ad campaign for their new movie 'Charlie's Angels 3: City of Angels'

Janie, Meg, Jack, Jake, Cyrus, and Cyan enjoy one last night of Fanta-fueled mayhem.

Meg, Ambrian, Abriel, Cambren, and Jake compete to be the first to stick their fingers in the cake.

Jake and Reese celebrate just one of the several birthday parties that Jake (and Meg) will no doubt have this year.

Sweet Meggie Scrumptious with her 'collective birthday' present.

I am even dustier, DUSTIER than thou!

I've written before about how the Cult of Monarchy has been increasing in intensity here in Thailand. In the country's current political maelstrom, true devotion to the king has become a type of political currency. Recently, a newspaper controversy reminded of the silliness of the entire mindset.

The picture below features a team of Thai students who won an international robotics competition. Not content to simply wear their yellow shirts, two of the students decided to display their undying loyalty to the king by displaying his portrait in their team photo. When the picture was featured prominently in the royalist newspapers Thai Rat, however, the students were shocked to see that the portraits had been removed using photoshop.



Enemies of Thai Rat quickly leaped into the fray with accusations that the most conservative newspaper in Thailand does not support His Majesty. Thai Rat, aghast at being on the defensive in any debate concerning the royal family, reaffrimed their loyalty by pointing out that the photos were not displayed according to royal protocol. If the King's photo is held, it must be held up so that HM's head appears higher than anyone else's head. Since the students did not follow this procedure, Thai Rat could not insult the king by publishing the photo without alterations.

The whole affair is rather absurd. It remains me of the Simpsons episode where Homer joins a religious cult. (Moe, Homer, and Sideshow Mel, compete to see who can attract the most dust as the Leader's car drives past on the commune's dirt road).

But this hysteria has very real, very dangerous consequences for anyone who attempts to engage it intellectually. This week a professor at Silpakorn university has come under lese majeste charges for asking his students to write an essay about whether the monarchy was important for Thailand and why. The university has handed over all the student exams to the police, who will decide whether this infraction warrants imprisonment.

Seven years in prison is a steep price for an exam question. But I suppose one can't be too careful in these dangerous times. Jews, communists, and counter-revolutionaries could be lurking anywhere...

I am the victim here

I think I've written before that Thailand is full of counterfeit products. Fake clothing. Fake handbags. And of course counterfeit CD's, DVD's, and VCD's and Gameboy cartridges.


I've adapted my conscience to co-exist with the moral questions involved. There are many advantages to buying black market DVD's, especially (besides just the price). They're available everywhere. They aren't edited by the Thai government censors. And they work on any player format. Two weeks ago I paid full price for a legitimate copy of the Thai movie Naresuan at 7-11, only to find it I couldn't watch it because our laptops and DVD players are set for American format while the DVD only works on machines set for Asia's format.


I did not realize the impact that this counterfeit industry was having on real people. Not until we were doing some shopping for gifts a Chatuchak weekend market and saw this:






After purchasing so many counterfeit products, I am now a victim.

I'm really not sure how to feel about it. It's quite flattering to be such a hot item in the Thai t-shirt market, selling for two hundred baht (twice as much as an average t-shirt). It's amusing to me that they spelled my name wrong, in typical Thai fashion. On the other hand, I don't like the idea of being left out of the royalty revenues I should be receiving from Mack Strate's popularity in Asia.

Right now my attorney in Chicago is trying to help figure out how this happened. We think the t-shirt manufacturer in Madison who produced the orginal shirts has been working with Asian whoelsalers and pocketing the royalities. But as we get more information we'll pass it along to you.

(Celebrity can be such a burden).

Sit on it, bucko

A week ago I took a little detour on my way to the archives. I rode in a taxi down into the Huay Kwang district of Din Daeng. Back to the missionary apartment where lived as a greenie.

The apartment manager was still there, although he didn't remember me. Our apartment was on the first floor, and no one lives there now. They've begun using it as a storage space, which was fortunate for me because I was allowed to walk through it again. Looking through it I realized it really wasn't so bad, as missionary apartments go. But I can remember going into the bathroom as a nineteen year old and wanting to puke. It took quite a bit of self control to make myself shower in there.

(The best part is that the Din Daeng missionaries don't live there anymore - apparently, it was too expensive.)

Although I have many fond memories of my mission, almost none of them occured during my first six months in Bangkok. They just weren't all Happy Days...My trainer was moved out when his engagement to a member in our ward became public. My second companion was also engaged to a member, but since she was up in a northeastern province no one seemed to care. We awoke one morning to discover we'd been robbed during the night and my camera and some clothes were gone. I got food poisoning from eating bad shrimp. Months of breathing in diesel exhaust from open air buses helped me contract sinusitis, and I spent a week indoors taking anti-biotics. I lost all my money to card sharks and my dad (Tom Bosley) had to get it back for me.

I entered that apartment as carefree, happy-go-lucky, young Shaino. I exited as the jaded, cynical, emotionally stunted Mack Strate that you all know and tolerate.

Truth in Advertising

English signs and advertisements in Thailand can often be very entertaining. You never know what you might find. Here's the latest example: Bangkok Airways ad campaign in Bangkok magazine.

I can only assume that the marketing execs meant to say "Spoil Yourself," but from what I hear about Bangkok airways this is much more accurate. It always amazes me that major companies like this don't seem to have anyone capable of catching such a gigantic error.

ปราสาทเขาพระวิหาร

I've decided the final chapter of my dissertation on loss, memory, and Thailand's history of vicimization will deal with the Preah Vihear incident. It is part of the legacy of French imperialism and its effect on Thailand.

Preah Vihear is the Khmer (Cambodian) name of the Hindu temple that sits on the Thai-Cambodian border, about fifty miles south of Sisagate. It dates back to the great Khmer peoples who built Angkor wat, and it considered the second finest example of ancient Khmer architecture in Southeast Asia.


In 1907, when the French and Thai delineated the border between what eventually became Cambodia and what became Thailand, Preah Vihear sat right on the boundary line.

The text of the border treaty clearly stated that the boundary was to be the 'watershed' of the Dangrek mountains, which would have put Preah Vihear ('Pra Viharn' in Thai) within Thailand. However, in a beautiful example of European duplicity, the French drew a map wherein the boundary line deviated from the watershed line just enough to place Preah Vihear within the territory of French Indochina.

Thus, for several decades both sides claimed ownership of the site. In the 1950s after Cambodia received its independence, it tried to take control of Preah Viharn from Thailand, triggering a border conflict and the severing of diplomatic ties.

An aerial view of Preah Vihear located on a cliff in the Dangrek mountains. Eastward below the cliff is Cambodia, westward (towards the camera) is Thailand.

In 1962, the matter went before the United Nations and the newly formed World Court of Justice. By a vote of 9-3, the Court held that the French drawn map was the ultimate authority and that the sacred temple grounds were Cambodian territory. The announcement created massive protests in Thailand and calls to go to war with Cambodia. But the Thailand government, unwilling to defy world opinion and jeopardize its standing in the international community, agreed to evacuate the temple in favor of Cambodia.

The Thai reaction is captured in the following political cartoon:



You can see the beleagured Thai being steamrolled as the World Court justice ignores the fence separating Thailand and Cambodia. Behind the Justice you can see the leader of Cambodia, Prince Sihanouk (who is purposely drawn so short to denote his lack of importance) and behind him is Mao Tze-Tung of Communist China.

This cartoon will be the centerpieace of my final chapter, because it so succintly draws out the the major theme of the Preah Vihear conflict:

Thailand's confrontations with European imperialism have given it a perpetual sense of victimization. Years after France's departure from Southeast Asia, its past treachery is still causing Thailand grief. The world court is viewed as an instrument of a neo-imperialism, which continues to oppress Thailand and steal its territory,

In the Cold War era, however, the enemy is no longer the French, but Communism. By puncturing Thailand's natural boundary, the World Court has opened up a passage way for Chinese cadres in Cambodia to pass through the gateway of Preah Vihear and into the heart of Thailand itself. Neo-imperialism is preventing Thailand's from adequately defending itself from dangerous agressors

(Admit it: You are sitting there salivating at the thought of reading my completed dissertation. You can hardly sit still, you're so excited.)

Two Weeks Notice

One of sexiest topics for a historian to study is the history of memory. Once an event or even a life has passed, the battle to determine its significance begins. Historians study how monuments, commemoration ceremonies, books, movies and other memorabilia help to shape our understanding of past occurences, and how this 'memory' can shift from generation to generation. For example, Princes William and Harry are already involved in the battle to shape how we remember their mother. Hence, the concert for Diana.

Now that we have exactly two weeks left it's time for me to plunge once more into the breech, dear friends, and begin shaping how our family will remember Thailand. This slideshow is selective memory at its finest. A few of our favorite images and clips and set them to the music of Kaddi's personal anthem.

We remember certain things because we choose to remember them.

SUPER JUNIOR T: How I learned to stop worrying and love Asian pop music

The entertainment industry in North America is protected by a nearly impenetrable language barrier. For the most part, we don't accept to music, movies, or television in other languages. We are the Anglo-world. If you want us to pay attention you have to speak English, and we have the buying power to reward you for your efforts. There are some exceptions to this, of course. Bruce Lee, Il Postino, La Bamba...but generally-speaking, we hold that anything not produced in English is second class. We send entertainment out to the huddled masses of the world, not the other way around.

A small country like Thailand can't afford to be so discriminating. Thailand has its own cadre of moviemakers, pop artists, and television channels - much of which it exports to neighbouring Cambodia and Laos. But it is also very open to foreign sources of entertainment. Thai academics are constantly complaining about the pervasive influence of Japanese cartoons on Thai youth. Of course they love to watch Hollywood movies, Chinese soap-operas, and Japanese game shows dubbed into Thai. But they also enjoy music from Britain, France, Korea, Philippines, Japan, in their original languages. I was flipping through the channels the other day and caught a music video from a Korean boy band called Super Junior T. It seemed strange to me that Thais would watch music videos in a different language. (Foreign languages are even more foreign when they're not English). Why would they watch a non-English music video when they couldn't understand the Korean lyrics?

But as I watched Lee Teuk, Shin Dong, (and their four bandmates) try to win the heart of a beautiful girl, act out their various shenanigans, and execute flawlessly choreographed dance moves in their matching shiny-sequined jackets, I forgot that songs even have lyrics. It was then that I realized the truth about the music industry: there's very little music in it. It's more about beautifully frosted Yu-gi-oh! hair, and a hip-hop rhythm, and an advanced pyrotechnics program in the background. Best of all, you can enjoy all these things no matter what language the performers sings. The fact that our own music industry is not so different should not be terribly surprising to anyone. After all, does anyone really care what Justin Timberlake or Christina Agurillera is singing about? We just want to watch them pop, lock, and jam.

Like all greater truths, I found this realization to be quite disturbing. But then I turned back to the video, where Shin Dong and his mates were popping out of a whack-a-mole game while a beautiful Korean girl tried to hit them each with a mallet. As I watched those lovable rascals driving a cardboard car and goofing off in a Confucian classroom environment, I forgot all about unintelligable lyrics, and everything was just...entertaining.

Celebrating Canada Day on July 4th

It was hard for our family to be away from everyone on Canada Day. Fortunately, Our friends the Nielsens had a little together and and invited us along with two other families. It was three days late, not the same as watching the Canada Day parade go down mainstreet in Raymond, but a great time nonetheless.

After a great bbq, everyone lights the candles on the red-white-and-blue Canada cake.


Ambrien, Meg, Cyan, and Abriel wait on the edge of Nichada lake for the traditional Canada Day fireworks display.

The kids lineup for an 'fishing expedition' celebrating the greatness of the Canadian outdoors.

Set phasers to...FUN

Last week we headed over to the Bangkok Children's Discovery Museum, where we discovered that for every one hour spent at the museum we got to spend two hours in traffic.



Jake and Meg spent 45 minutes of the 1.5 hours we spent at the museum sending little 'capsules' back and forth to each other in these windpipes. If they had just done it for fifteen more minutes they would have been certified to work as a Wells Fargo drive-thru bank teller.


It's always fun to shout messages to each other through long pipes. As a special Discover museum souvenir, each kid brought home a case of 'tube-and-mouth' disease.



The kids learn how Thai pop music videos are made using a blue screen. They watched themselves on the televisions monitors in front.
Jakes poses on a replica of a traditional Thai hut on stilts.



Kaddi and Meg pose in front of a traditional Thai shelter for big screen TV's.

A Momentary Indiscretion

1972 was a tumultuous year for Thailand. The Cold Ward was at its height as the shadow of Communism grew across Southeast Asia. Thai leaders watched anxiously as President Nixon gradually withdrew American troops from Vietnam. The Pathet Lao was threatening monarchy rule in Laos and the Khmer Rouge battled the government of Cambodia. Even within its own borders, guerillas from the Communist party of Thailand regularly clashed with the Thai army and broadcast radio messages of revolution to the Thai people. University students began growing their hair long and protesting Thai foreign policy, including the US military presence in Thailand. Everywhere it seemed that the existing social, economic, and religious order was under attack.

In June of that year, four Mormon Elders from Nakhorn Sawan province traveled north to Sukhothai province to spend their preparation day touring the ancient city. Sukhothai is considered the birthplace of the Thai nation, the kingdom that existed before Ayuthaya and Bangkok. It was the home of Ramkhamhaeng, the legendary king who invented the Thai alphabet and presided over unprecedented peace and prosperity. The ruins of Sukhothai are sacred to Thais and have been declared a UNESCO World heritage site.

(Caption says: One American missionary poses on head of Buddha, another takes a picture. Both narrowly escape being lynched by angry mob.)

As they toured the ruins and posed for pictures, the group's greenie decided to climb up on the Buddha and pose for a picture sitting on its head. Even though all missionaries in Thailand are warned about the cultural sensibilities of both head and feet in Thailand, none of the other three objected to his actions. His trainer took the picture and the group continued on with their excursion.

Upon returning to Nakhorn Sawan, the trainer dropped off the roll of film with a local developer. When the owner of the store saw the photos, he was so incensed that he sent the pictures to several newspapers. On July 12, 1972 Siam Rat printed the infamous photos that changed both the church's status in Thailand and these young men's lives forever. The newspaper Thai Rat carried these photos on their front page for five straight days.

(Captions: Two Americans hide their faces while being sentenced for disrespecting Buddhism. Taxi driver furious he had to drive farangs. Missionaries receive death threats and must be placed in solitary confinement for our safety.)

Having only skimmed the story briefly, I'm not sure exactly when and why the Elders were arrested. After this publicity it became impossible for them to go out in public in Nakhorn Sawan. It may be that they eventually turned themselves into the police for protection. At night groups of people would gather to throw rocks at the house they were living in. They received death threats. When they were finally jailed they had to be separated from other inmates so they weren't attacked or lynched.

(Photo bottom center of Elders in handcuffs: Americans found guilty of disrespecting Buddhism, sentenced to six months in prison.)

The judge assigned to their case did not accept ignorance as an excuse. Because they had come to Thailand to teach about religion, he said, they should have been more familiar with Buddhism and its cultural sensibilities. Buddhism was the cultural foundation of Thai society, and their actions threatened to undermine that foundation. He sentenced the greenie and his trainer to six months in jail.

It was a harsh punishment in deed for such a momentary indiscretion. I would guess that today such an offense would warrant deportation at most. But because of the high-profile nature of the case, the judge probably felt he had to make and example of the missionaries. A strict ruling was necessary to protest Buddhism's status as the religious cornerstone of Thai culture. Societies can behave like animals. When they are threatened they lash out at enemies, real or perceived. Sometimes they invent enemies to defeat, giving them a enhanced feeling of control over their situation.

One can not help but feel sorry for these two missionaries, whose names (which I purposely omit) will forever be associated with the most embarassing episode for the church here in Thailand. This is not the experience you expect when you receive your mission call. For decades, Protestant ministers have used this event as an excuse to continue to deny the LDS church from receiving official recognition as a religion in Thailand. Even when I was a missionary, twenty-two years after the fact, I still met the occassional person who would say "I remember you, you're the guys who sat on that Buddha in Sukhothai."

To this day there are still no missionaries in Nakhorn Sawan or Sukhothai.

A Modest Proposal

Kaddi and I have a problem that confronts most couples with young children - we don't get out much. This problem was again brought to our attention recently when we went to the mall and saw previews for Fractured. (We never miss a Ryan Gosling movie). But how to get out without the kids in tow? We have no family here. Most people we know have left for the Americas, all other contacts live an hour or so away, and according to our rental contract the security guard's duties do not include baby-sitting. The solution to this problem requires a little ingenuity.


Since our kids are old enough to be relatively self-sufficient, but not quite old enough to stay home for four hours by themselves, it's simply a matter of keeping them both contained and entertained. They need to be restricted enough that they can't burn the house down, but not necessarily supervised. The solution involves borrowing an time-tested product and finding a new application for it. Mormon parents everywhere, I give you....

The Kiddie-Kennel

Have you ever sat in church and silently laughed while leaders instructed you to go out with your wife once a week? No longer. With Kiddi-Kennel you just cage 'em and engage 'em.

Most kids spend four hours a day watching TV anyway, so why can't they stare at the telly through the bars of protective steel mesh? The prototypes I'm working on with my business partner will be about 3 X 3, with an mesh cage in front, cupholders, snack trays, and built in earphones in case the kids want to watch separate movies. We're experimenting with fireproof outercasings and perhaps even sprinkler systems. We still haven't got the toiletry situation figured out, but our focus groups have shown that this is not a major concern for parents anyway. (After all, cleaning up a little tinkle is a small price to pay for some alone time - why not just put some newspapers down?)

So, for only $69.99 the kids can watch their movies in secure comfort, mom and dad remember why they got married in the first place, and there is love at home.

Inhumane? Going three months without a date with your wife- THAT's inhumane!

Presenting a presentable presentation

The Seven Martyrs displayed at Ban Song Khon Cathedral in Mukdahan province.



When I arrived here in Thailand, Profesor Chalong (who oversees my research in Bangkok) asked me to deliver a seminar paper to his graduate students at Chulalongkorn university. I had serious reservations about speaking at an academic forum in Thai, but what's the point of doing all this research if you're going to keep it to yourself? Connecting with other scholars and finding an audience for your work is the goal of every professor. A month ago I received the seminar schedule and found out I was the first lecturer in a series that included some very distinguished names in our field. This increased the stress level a bit, but since the audience was mostly graduate student with some faculty it turned out to be a very informal, enjoyable environment to share some preliminary conclusions.


As I have repeated many times, my research involves Thai nationalism and anti-colonialism during the WWII period. For this forum I chose to limit my remarks to the Thai government's attempt to rid the country of the Catholic church form 1940-1944. In the minds of Thai leaders, Catholicism was working hand-in-glove with French imperialists to consolidate power in Southeast Asia. Once the border war between Thailand and French Indochina broke out, Bangkok exploited the wartime atmosphere to persecute Catholics and entrench Buddhism as the national religion (a process which has recently received renewed interest).


The results were disastrous for Catholics. All French priests were arrested and deported, and most Thai priests were imprisoned. All religious meetings were banned, the churches and schools were closed and usually appropriated for government used. Catholics were forced to attend 'Re-education meetings' and asked to sign affadavits saying they had renounced Christianity. Catholic govt workers lost their jobs, and Thais boycotted their businesses. Thais who refused to stop teaching Catholicism were assaulted and sometimes even killed. The Vatican responded by sending in Italian priests and enlisting the help of the Italian embassy in Bangkok to recover lost property, but during the war they could exert little pressure. It was not until Japan's fortunes in the Pacific nose-dived and Thailand began preparing itself for an Allied victory that the religiou persecution ended. Late in 1944 Thailand adopted a new Constitution that ensured religious freedom and the government began gradually returning church property.





My ground-breaking powerpoint map of Catholic administrative boundaries.


On the whole, it think the presentation went quite well. Thailand is currently drafting a new constitution and there is strong support for writing in Buddhism as the national religion, so the topic received a great deal of interest. Most of the audience was not even aware of that such an episode had ever taken place. I have uncovered incontrovertable evidence that the entire campaign was the result of orders from the Ministry of Interior to the provincial governors, which raises serious questions about Thai-West relations. I made many mistakes in Thai, and often felt rather foolish, but managed to maintain people's interest when presenting the evidence. The most difficult part was attempting to explain how this episode fit into the overall framework of my dissertation (something I have difficulty explaining in English).

Even better, Kaddi was nice enough to sit through the who two hours so that I would have a friendly face to look at. Afterwards I think one of the graduate students tried to hit on her.



(And of course I was swamped with people who wanted to be featured on 301NIB, or wanted t-shirts and other merchandise. Celebrity is such a burden.)

It's all anecdotal

Thailand, like many Asian countries, thinks that English is synonymous with pop culture and being cool. It's not uncommon to see a Thai posters or billboards written mainly in Thai except for a single English word or phrase in the middle. Usually the word is spelled wrong or the grammar is incorrect, which makes it fun for anyone who can actually read it.

Except today. I was standing on the river pier waiting for my boat, when a middle-aged woman and her son walked by and stood next to me along the rail. The son had just finished school and was dressed in a para-military uniform, while his mom had on slacks and a t-shirt. I happened to glance over and see that mom's t-shirt has a graphic that looked like a billboard for a British band called 'U.K. Subs', which I've never heard of. It was full of pictures with English words and phrases, but placed squarely in the middle in bold type were the words....

Well, I can't type the words here, not even with dashes in place of key consonants. Let's just say that the phrase rhymed with "Duck Cough."

Hard to imagine your mom picking you up from school in a t-shirt like that, isn't it?


The Break-Up

I had a great Father's day. Kaddi made me a special dinner of chicken-salad croissants, black-olive salad, and cranberry punch - all three are delicacies here in Thailand. After dinner Meg gave me two cards that she had made for me, each containing a chocolate treat that she knew I liked. One of her cards said:

"In all the years of Dads, you've been the best"

What father wouldn't love such praise? When I finished admiring Meg's card (which took some time) I asked Jake why there was no card from him. He rolled his eyes and said "Dad, I just don't love you that way!"

I guess he just wants to be friends.



Share the Magic

Some of our friends from Wisconsin are headed for a family reunion in San Diego this summer, and will probably visit Disneyland with their kids for the first time. When we mentioned this to Meg she was very excited for her best friend Whitney. She got a dreamy look in her eye and said:

"Whitney will have so much fun at Disneyland...cotton candy, ice cream, lemonade, giant suckers, licorice....so much fun!"



It's a Boy!

...for our friends Clark and Kim....that is. The Millers recently emailed us saying that they had their baby, on Father's Day no less. They decided to name him Russell Clark Miller. Clark and I served in the Elders Quorum together in Madison, I was the Millers hometeacher for over two years, and I even helped them paint their basement during their remodeling project. I was quite touched that they decided to name their second son after me (Russell is my middle name). Needless to say, I'm very honoured.

Although "Mack Strate Miller" would have sounded even better.

Welcome to the desert of the real

Recently I've received some feedback from certain viewers stating that they're unhappy with the rather slow progression of the blog. They want better posts, and they want them more often (as if this were a television sitcom). Well, there's a reason why the blog has bogged down of late.

Nothing....is....happening....here.

This is far more palpable for the rest of the family than for myself. Kaddi's tennis circuit has ended. Soccer and baseball have long been over for Jake. Meg's ballet and swimming lessons are done. The international school has gone on summer break. All the embassy and corporate ex-pat families have begun their annual migration back to stateside normalcy, leaving no one to socialize with Kaddi and the kids. Even Jake's weekly violin lesson, not exactly a highlight, was cancelled this week. because the teacher's kids have an as yet unexplained rash. Our daily lives, never very exciting to begin with, are now slowly dragging across the sandy bottoms of the ocean of life.

For me it's slightly different. The research process is open-ended. I could easily stay here for two years and not exhaust the materials that would enhance our understanding of memory, loss, and the Franco-Thai conflict's role in Thai nationalism. But all my life I've got by doing the minimum. You figure out the exact amount of work necessary to complete a task or achieve a goal, and then portion out your time and effort accordingly. It's a mantra. The problem is, I had officially done the minimum by the end of May. I have the bare minimum of materials necessary to produce a ground-breaking PhD dissertation. What I find from here on out is bordering on over-achievement. I've spoken out against overachievement my entire career. It's a very confusing time for me.

So, for all intents and purposes, 301NIB has reached a stage comparable to a basketball game whose outcome has already been determined. As the final seconds tick away players just stand around staring into the stands and preparing their cliches for the post-game interview. (We're so bored we've been watching the NBA finals.) Our departure date is set at July 24th, so until then many of you might want to find an alternate diversion.

Just remember to check back for the season finale.