The November Mailbag

Dear 301NIB,

Why don't we see more pictures of the beach? Are you getting the hang of the bodyboarding yet?

J. Nielsen
Bangkok Thailand

My first few attempts at bodyboarding didn't go so well. I kept my board headed straight toward the beach, got pounded by the waves and rolled up in the surf with my shorts around my ankles. I could taste salt for a week and had sand in every possible crevice.

But I'm still doing better than Kaddi. Last Monday the kids were out of school and so she took them to the beach. Even though its winter and the waves are getting bigger, she still decided to venture in to the ocean. Meg was begging her to go back to the shore, but Kaddi insisted she could handle it. Moments later a huge wave knocked her over. When she finally emerged from the water she found that her favorite sunglasses had gone to Davey Jones' locker.



301nights,

We are surprised and upset at the recent decline in Meg-related content over the past two months. Our statistics show that from Sept. 2006 - Sept 2007, stories, pictures, and videos of Meg made up almost 62% of all 301NIB posts. But since October 2007 that number has been cut in half. Is this part of some scheme to phase Meg out of the storyline? Why would you do that when she's by far the most entertaining aspect of this blog?

Meggie Scrumptious fan club
Mankado, MN

I've told you people before to leave my daughter alone. Why don't you get yourself a good medium and go bother Heather O'Rourke?

Speaking of disturbing, Meg had an usual experience at Halloween. She wanted to create her own candy bag, so she took a regular brown paperbag from the grocery store and decorated it with all sorts of Halloween imagery. Then Meg asked a girl in her class at school if she wanted to draw a decoration. When Meg got the bag back she was a little distressed at the addition. The little girl had drawn a graveyard with one tombstone bearing the inscription:

R.I.P.
Meg Strate
2000-2007



Dear 301nights,

Will the ongoing writer's strike affect your blog? How will you be able to maintain such a high level of quality without your writing staff?

Jeffrey Katzenberg
Bel Air, CA

301NIH writers are not part of the Writer's Guild of America. But inspired by the example of their Hollywood colleagues, our writers began examining their own contracts. When they discovered that they are scheduled to receive less than 2% of the Mack Strate t-shirt revenues through 2011, they decided to go on strike also.

I have no intention of giving in to their demands. Instead, I've replaced them with their Mexican, non-union equivalents. Sure, all the blogs will be written in Spanish, but we were going to start targeting the emerging Latin American markets anyway. It's just good business.

So, in the future be sure to check for insightful and amusing posts on the following topics:

- Hugo Chavez's mother-in-law visits the Presidential Palace

- Two-minute tomales

- Are you dating a Chupacabra?




Dear 301NIB,

It looks like the Cougars are once again headed to Las Vegas. Do you think there's any chance they could be added to the Pac Ten so they play in a real bowl?

Mark Lamb
Centerville, UT

The topic of BYU sports is too painful for me to talk about since my recent run-in with Lavell Edwards. The Coach is here in Hawaii for the week-long business conference at the university. We were sitting in church on Sunday and Kaddi noticed him sitting in the row behind us. When I saw we were both wearing tan pants and blue shirts I knew I had to go talk to the Coach. When I thought the time was appropriate I approached him and asked if I could take a picture. I'd always heard Lavell was a cool guy, but he completely blew me off. It was harsh blow for a life-long BYU fan like myself.

Maybe I should have waited until he was done taking the sacrament.