The October Mailbag

301 nights

I can't believe how lucky you guys are to be living in Hawaii! There's so much to see and do. What have you done so far? Have you been to any of the other islands?

M. Gibbons
Bangkok Thailand

Since we didn't have a car our first month here, we have not been to see many of the sites. But I'm proud to announce that is about to change, as we have recently purchased our very own motor carriage. It's a 1997 Saturn something-or-other, with four doors....actually, three and a half since one of the door panels is falling off. It's dark green with an interior that appears as though it were once made of leather. I would have included a picture, but in order to pay for the vehicle we traded our digital camera straight across.

There's a good chance we got ripped off.



Dear 301NIH

The blog does not have enough information about Kaddi's pregnancy. How is she doing?

K-money
Hamden, CT

Kaddi is feeling better about life here in Hawaii now that its getting cooler. We all sleep better. She's also trying to get a note from her doctor so that our apartment manager will let us have air-conditioning. But pregnancy has also given a heightened sensitivity to odors, which is causing discomfort. The other day I was eating some Buffalo Wing and Blue Cheese Doritos (It was a Flavor COLLISION!) and the blue cheese smell was too much for her to take. She made me finish eating my chips outside.

At least she positioned the TV so I could watch it through the screen door.




Dear Hawaii man,

I can't believe you describe your neighbourhood as a ghetto when you live in Hawaii. Have you ever even been to a real ghetto?

LaQuanda Willis
Oak Park, IL

To be fair, I refer to our neighbourhood as the Mormon projects. And for the most part, I stand by this description. It's not a scary ghetto since it's full of good people who are completing their education and raising their families. But it's also low-income housing units with toys and furniture strewn all over the place. It's the kind of place where people roll up in their SUV's blasting polynesian music, and where you can hear your neighbour yelling at his kids or singing in the shower. It's also the kind of place where you can walk out to your car and find a half-naked (if you're lucky) kid sliding down your windshield.

Can somebody put some pants on this kid?














301NIB,

Are you exercising enough? When you come up to the reunion next summer we're going to be doing a lot of hiking and outdoor acitivities. You need to cut out the junk food and get on the tread mill.

Camp Impeesa Man
Magrath, AB

I confess that I have not been as active as I would like since arriving in Hawaii. Maybe I should start running - you know that Bill and Ryan just finished a marathon in St. George? I'm very proud of both of them, Bill particularly for finishing his first marathon in good time. But Ryan's marathon completion was even more emotional for me. During the 2006 marathon in Logan Utah, Ryan experienced severe chaffing from a cotton-poly blend t-shirt and lost both his nipples. The doctors said he would never run again. He was devastated.

I knew that I couldn't stand back and watch my dear cousin give up his passion for distance running. A preliminary test confirmed I would be a perfect match, and I donated one of my nipples so that he could return to the sport he loves. Yesterday, when I heard that Ryan had completed his first marathon since our surgery, I felt as though a small part of me had run right along with him.



Mr. Mack Strate,

We appreciate your concise yet evocative review of our recent publication The Rural Juror. In the absence of other media coverage, informative and entertaining blogs like yours are the engines driving the success of this novel.

After perusing your blog I think your family's year in Thailand would make the subject of a very insightful and amusing book. If you decide to pursue such a project, I hope you'll consider our firm for publication.

E. Benes
Pendant Publishing
New York City

I have thought of writing that experience as a book, but right now I'm involved in another project. I'm writing a fantasy novel about Sarah, a high school girl who moves to small town to live with her father. In her science class she meets Blair, a brooding young man who's as good-looking as he is mysterious. Despite Blair's efforts efforts to keep his distance, he and Sarah gradually grow to care for each other. Sarah suspects Blair is not like the others kids, that there's something unusual and powerful about him. It is only after she's fallen in love with Blair that Sarah learns his terrible secret...

He's a Scientologist.