So you see - We're just like you.

Here at 301NIB we get letters from all over the world telling us how amazing Thailand looks, and how much they would like to live here so they could enjoy our an exotic lifestyle. The truth is that, by showing only the highlights, the website tends to make things look more exciting than they really are. Not everyday is full of breathtaking events such as getting dehydrated at the Tallest Buddhist Monument in the world, or burning out your retinas by staring at a salt pyramid. Mack Strate may be an international hip-hop superstar and internet phenomenon, but most days we still do the same mundane errands and tasks as every other family. The only difference is that, in Thailand, sometimes a routine activity can turn into a lesson in long-suffering. For example...

Last Saturday it was my job to put gas in the three-wheeled scooter we've been borrowing from a friend. Since there are no gas-stations or other useful (but unsightly) establishments here in 'ex-pat fantasyland', I had to ride the scooter outside the walls of our theme-park into Real Thailand. This involved risking both my safety and my masculinity as I drove safety-scooter down a main road full of taxis, buses, and semi-trailers.

I somehow avoided becoming the hood ornament of a tractor trailer, pulled into the gas-station and started looking for the key that accesses the gas cap under the seat. When the attendant came over, instead of filling up the tank, he informed me that there was a power outage and that they couldn't give me any gas because they couldn't pump it. The station across the street didn't have power either. So...I drove even farther down the street to another station. No power. I drove back down the street in the opposite direction, past the Nichada gates to another station. No power.

But I was determined not to go back empty-handed. Since there was a 7-11 next door (that great center of Thai economic life) I decided to just grab a snack and wait for the power come back on. This momentary struggle did nothing but prolong my suffering. The store had no slurpee machine. I settled for chocolate milk, but couldn't get Meiji brand and instead had to drink Foremost. I bought my usual pretzels thinking they were pizza-flavored, not noticing I had picked up 'corn-flavored' instead. I sat on my little roadster and waited, and waited....and waited. But no power. The Universe had considered my petition and pronounced its decision: "No gas for you!"

So...

If you're looking for an image that truly represents our lives in Thailand, this might be it. Me, sitting on a safety-scooter at gas station, choking down semi-chocolate milk and corn-flavored pretzels, waiting for electricity to come back on.

(Or Kaddi sweeping up ants...that might be a good one too.)