Kill Kirby Vol. 2

After realizing we'd bought the wrong game, I was furious with myself for not checking inside the box while we were still at the mall. But when I examined the cartridge, it was clearly marked 'Kirby: Nightmare in Dreamland.' Since the game had obviously been mislabeled, the only way to detect the error would have been to insert it into the Gameboy before we bought it(something we will be doing before any future electronics purchases. It was terrible to see the disappointment on Jake's face. I knew that a good father would do everything he could to right this wrong. (I also knew there was a Dairy Queen right next to the gameboy kiosk.)

Since all business transactions here are fraught with an air of semi-legality, Kaddi assumed that the vendor had intended to rip us off and our money wasa gone. That would be true with the street-side stalls. If you buy something, don't bother getting a receipt, because the store won't be there in four hours. But this video games stand was a permanent fixture. I had seen it many times before and I knew it wasn't going anywhere. I also know that it would be foolish for any vendor to get into a disagreement with a farang. Farangs have money, powerful connections, and the police almost always take their side. I doubted whether I'd have any trouble when I went back to demand satisfaction.

So, a few days later I got in another taxi and headed over to the theater. Instead of the man who had sold us the game, a woman was now behind the counter. I placed 'Kirby' into the Gameboy and demonstrated the problem. Of course, she did not have another copy of Kirby, so she offered to exchange it for whatever game they had on display. But only Kirby would make a boy like Jake truly happy, so I asked for my 590 baht back (the listed price). Thai merchants hate to give refunds, so at this point she called up the owner of the store to consult him. She looked throught the sales records and asked me "Are you sure you paid 590 for that game?" I simply held up the box and said 'Look, there's the price right there on the sticker.' Now she was in a bit of a bind. She knew that I probably paid 500, but didn't want to risk calling my bluff. I could be the rare idiot that came to Bangkok and paid full price.

Finally, she handed over the 590 baht and conceded round two to Mack Strate. If I had a conscience I may have felt a little dishonest about taking an inflated refund. But that's the way the game shakes down here in Thailand. Vendors have to learn there's a price to be paid when they can't deliver the goods. I gorged myself at DQ and returned home to assure Jake that his money was safe, but without the game. Even after two trips to the mall, that prissy little pink blob continued to elude me.

Two weeks after this whole fiasco began I once again showed up at the Major Hollywood Cineplex for the third and final installment of the Kirby saga. Since my last visit the two clerks had obviously uncovered my duplicity. When I stepped up to the counter she immediately confronted me:

"Hey, you paid 500 for that game but told me you paid 590."

I quickly replied:

"You're damn right I did. I've already spent more on taxis coming here than this game is worth."

Not exactly the the most culturally sensitive answer, but I was annoyed. They never apologized for making me come back three times but now expected me to feel guilty about my own slight of hand? Miraculously, they had a new Kirby in stock, I tested it, bought it for the orginal price, and departed without another word. On the way home in a taxi I savored the sweet taste of victory.

It tasted like Oreo blizzard.