Stream of Consciousness

I hope he had Geico
Besides being the favorite hunting ground for several colonies of ants, our apartment here at Danicha is also the refuge of a few gecko lizards. Every once in a while one might jump off the coffee table and scare Kaddi half to death while she's sweeping, but generally speaking we seem to coexist quite peacefully. I like having them around because they eat bugs and only come out at night. We even had a favorite lizard who preferred hunting in our bathroom. He was easy to remember because he had a gimpy hind-leg. We called him, "Gimpy." Whenever we got up to use the bathroom at night we'd see him climbing the walls. He'd scamper around the light fixtures, hiding in cracks, or in the cupboards. Such a playful little rascal! Unfortunately, one of Gimpy's other favorite hiding spots was under the bathmat. One day as Kaddi was sweeping the bathroom she found Gimpy....or as we now refer to him...'Flatty.' Thus ended the days of Gimpy the Gecko.


Baptism by cultural immersion
Two weeks ago we had the homecoming program for a missionary returning from Guatemala. Determined to follow standard missionary protocol, he gets up to speak and the very first words out of his mouth are:

"It's going to be quite difficult for me to make it through this talk in English, but I'll do the best I can."

(At this point everyone turned around to see who could be groaning so loudly in the back of the chapel.)

Look, I get that every missionary is out to prove that they've changed. They want to show they were good missionaries who took their calling seriously. Nobody will argue that returning to civilian life is uncomfortable. My parents made me go to a family reunion full of big, loud, obnoxious white people the day after I got home - where my Grandma probably tried to feed me prairie oysters. I may have look out of place, but I didn't stand around saying 'I'm sorry...what did you say? Does anyone here speak Thai?'

I remember speaking at my own homecoming. After two years of speaking a lot of Thai, I admit I had trouble remembering a few formal words, but I think I managed to get my point across just fine. I'm willing to grant it might be different for Latin America (was it, Rock Star?), since they have a lot of Latino companions and Spanish is so much easier to speak than Asian languages. But really, can't we drop the pretense about being SO IMMERSED in the language and culture that coming back home is like returning to a foreign country?

If you have trouble speaking English after only two years away from home, you probably didn't speak it that well in the first place.


Confess, stay-at-home-mom!
Finally, there's been some wild accusations thrown about lately concerning 301NIB by a website that I think should remain anonymous . These rumors allege that certain people at 301NIB did willfully and knowingly engage in underhanded tactics in order to obtain a top ranking in the list of links on other websites.

Although our attorneys have advised us to neither confirm nor deny these allegations, we know that our readers already see the truth. Our blog has been consistently placed at the top of every rankings system because our commitment to excellence in political commentary, travel writing, and mild profanity. Those who would propagate such malicious falsehoods will soon feel the full wrath of the cyber-powerhouse that is 301NIB.