Let's open up the 301NIB mailbag

301nib subscribers: We love getting your emails, letters, and comments about the website. Keep sending them in, and periodically we'll post the best of the best. Remember: letters laced with profanity, sexual innuendo, or anthrax will NOT be published.




Dear 301nights,
I can't believe you guys have been there for a month already. Are things improving at all? Is Kaddi doing any better?

Skanky Spice
Calgary, Alberta

Dear Ms. Spice,
Things are getting better here for everyone. Jake is feeling more comfortable at soccer. Meg is trying hard to make a friend in her primary class. Even Kaddi is beginning to loosen up. During that first week if I left a knife with peanut-butter on it laying on the counter, she ran my head through a plate glass window. Now if I do something that might attract ants she just slaps me around a little.




Dear 301NIB,
You sure do a lot of blogging. I thought you were supposed to be doing research over there. Are you ever going to make it to the archives or will you just spend the ten months making up funny stories, posting photographs and taking silly little videos?

Get it together,

Wyldflwr
Orem, UT

Uh....



301nib,

Do your friends and family not write you? Why do you have to make up viewer mail? None of these letters come from real people. In fact, I'll bet most of EVERYTHING you post on this site is the product of your imagination.

An Enlightened Viewer,
Somewhere in Kansas

Dear Enlightened One,

You certainly hit it in on the head. 310nib is not an actual diary of our trip, its for entertainment purposes only. Along with my team of writers, I make up plot scenarios, stories, create new characters, and then use CGI photos to make it all come alive.

Of course, the question NOW is...why am I explaining all this to you when you don't exist?






301nightsinbangkok,

After one month are you starting to feel comfortable in your ward? Do you or Kaddi have callings yet? What sort of things have you done to get involved?

Nivea for Tom
Sarasota, FL

Dear Nancy-boy,
We do not have callings yet, or even home teachers. But we officially feel like part of the ward now that I have been asked to play the part of 'Joseph' in the upcoming Christmas pageant entitled 'Journey to Bethlehem.' Every year the Bangkok stake puts on a Nativity pageant at the Asoke building that is specifically designed to introduce non-Christians to the story of the Saviour's birth. It is structured as a tour that goes through the building, and each classroom is a different scene for Luke II. One room has Herod, another the wisemen, the shepherds, another has the angels, another is the inn, and so on. At the end of the tour they will come to the stable, where 'Mary' and I will be holding the Christ-child and...uh, singing a duet.

I have to admit being offered this role was not completely unexpected. I knew that eventually word of my performance in Joseph: Prophet of the Restoration (not to mention my writing, producing and co-starring in the Mad2 ward talent show) was bound to get out. But, it turned out they just wanted someone with a beard. They decided to settle for me, anyway.




Dear 301nights,

If you're having such problems with taxis and boats and traveling in general, why not just get a car? Wouldn't that make things easier?

K.M.
St. Paul, MN

Dear K.M.,
We'd like to have a car, but it would really be more hassle than its worth. The maintenance and registration alone would be very costly and time-consuming. Plus, most people here with cars also have drivers, which we would not. That would just mean I would get lost on my own instead of with a Taxi-drivers, or get in an accident since Thais drive on the left. Finally, the only car available here that we could afford is a Hyundai - basically a KIA with a cooler logo. And who wants to drive one of those?