The Jack Bauer Glower Hour

Yes, we've started watching 24. We gather each night 'round the laptop to watch Keifer as he violates the rights of countless ordinary citizens in pursuit of the bad guys. Watching Jack face-plant a hospital visitor who he suspects of being a co-conspirator is truly an enjoyable romp.

I get the impression, however, that they're still working on the chemistry here in Season one. The storyline, characters, and delivery and not quite as tight as they could be. There are lots of questions. Will Nina and Jack get back together? Will Tony shave that horrible soul-patch? Will Keifer's gang of vampires use their powers for good or evil?

Although I continue to hang on, I have a few... observations...that I hope will be rectified before I get to Season two.

1) CIA or WWE?
Season 1 storyline involves a conspiracy with the CIA to help assasinate an African-American presidential candidate. Plus, Jack's family has been kidnapped as well. Isn't that enough excitement for one day? Do we really need the entire law enforcement community chasing Jack at the same time that he's chasing the shooter and trying to figure out which agents are dirty?

So far he's escaped from both the CIA and the Secret Service. Now he just needs to breakout of custody from the FBI and LAPD and he'll have hit for the fugitive cycle.

2) The story-telling can be a little s-l-o-w.

Okay, I realize that events happen in real time. I realize that this is the first season and they're establishing characters and relationship dynamics within families and work places. But maybe showing tenty minutes of burying a dead body, or mom and daughter desperately sitting on a hay bale, or Jack falling asleep in a construction office isn't the best way to advance the plot. If they wanted events to happen in real time, they probably should have just called the first season: 12.

3) "Need to know basis"

Now I'm no intelligence expert, but isn't the CIA supposed to be a secretive organization? So why does Jack Bauer share his life story with a supermarket clerk (who he just kidnapped)? Why does Tony run around headquarters like he's going to wet his pants if someone doesn't let him into Annie's secret circle? Best of all, why do we get exchanges like the following:

Nina: Hi, is Jack there?

Jack's Wife: No, I can't find him, his cel phone must be turned off.

Nina: Well, I have some top-secret information for him, but I'm too busy pottytraining Tony to keep calling him. When you see him at dinner tonight will you just tell him the corpse has been ID'ed as Alan York.

Jack's wife: (thinks) But...if Alan York is dead, then who's sitting next to me driving the car?!

4) Tales of Ribaldry

An airplane bathroom, a furniture store, and some sort of barn stall - all before 9 AM. If this is how the morning goes, I'm going to need a chaperone to watch the evening episodes. No wonder this show is on FOX.