301NI? Mailbag

More responses to your letters about Hawaii, the family, and what to do about our blog's name...



Dear 301NIB,

What is church like in Hawaii?

Mellow-D
Provo, UT

For me, church is the same in Laie as it is every else in the world. I sit by myself, try not to make eye contact with anyone, and spend 180 minutes imagining myself at home watching football and eating chocolate covered raisins.

Actually, our first week in our new ward was very interesting. The family that spoke was leaving Hawaii to return to Taiwan. After the meeting many ward members lined up to give hugs and gifts while someone sang 'Aloha, Hawaii' at the pulpit.

There are other intriguing aspects. Our Bishop is a large Mauri from New Zealand. We spend five minutes of opening excercises talking about how the young men did in their high school or junior high sports. Also, lots of young men come to church wearing the lava-lava and sandals. I think it's fascinating that Hawaiians have somehow managed to incorporate many cultural features into church worship, whereas other regions are very Utahn. I have a theory about this...




Dear 301 nights,

Shouldn't you change the name of your site to 301NIH to reflect your new setting?

Mik Rell-im
Helsinki, Finland

This has been a matter of internal debate for several months now. It no longer makes sense to go with 301nightsinbangkok now that we're in Hawaii. On the other hand, the 301NIB brand is now recognized worldwide. From a marketing standpoint, we can't change it now. Can you imagine IBM, Pepsi, or Toyota changing their name? How can we adapt to the changing character of our product without sacrificing brand-name recognition? We may need to call in Senior Project Manager Cluff.

Dear 301NIB,

What do you do for fun in Laie? Still playing "Guess that fan speed?"

Hot Toddy
Elk Grove, CA

You knock the game because you've never tried it. Our market research suggests its the fastest growing fan-based game among Canadian-American families living in Nonthaburi province.

But now that we live IN the ghetto, we gots to LIVE ghetto. So Kaddi and I play a new game called 'Rear Window'. We stare out at our neighbours in the complex and see who can make the most judgemental remarks about what we see. For example..."Oh, looks like Bro. Ma'afala isn't too good to drink Mountain Dew"...or..."Hey! Will somebody get that naked kid off the hood of my car?!"



To Whom it may concern,

How is Kaddi handling the transition to Hawaii? She must be glad not to have to clean up ants all the time.

J. Nielsen
Soi Samakhee 2

Kaddi is very glad to be back in the United States where she has all the conveniences of the modern world. Except that we don't have a car or air-conditioning. She has to walk to a landromat to clean our clothes, and we have a bed the size of a beach towel.

With all the extra expenses of furnishing a new apartment, I put my foot down and refused to purchase a new vacuum, arguing that we could use the vacuums available at the apartment office. Today I attempted to checkout a vacuum only to learn that all but two machines were broken, and they were already checked out. The RA assured me that they had ordered new vacuums. I asked when they would arrive and the girl simply gave me a look that says, "Don't you realize you're in Hawaii now?"

As punishment for not buying a vacuum Kaddi makes me go over the entire apartment with a lint roller.



Dear 301NIB,

I saw those pictures of you playing basketball near the temple. Exactly how far is the temple from your apartment.

Bono
Dublin, Ireland

Kaddi and I had an argument about whether or not the temple was a stone's throw away from our apartment. She said it wasn't. I said it was. I ended up being right.

In a completely unrelated development, someone broke one of the lights outside the visitors center.





Dear 301nightsinbangkok,

Are you Schaefer's roadie now? He tells you to do a 301NIB mailbag and so you do one. Who's running this blog anyway?

Nivea for Joel
Ann Arbor, MI

Hey, the guy's a Rock Star...everyone does what he wants. Did you know that in the Beaver Dam area his t-shirts outsell Mack Strate three-to-one?